Intermission: The Last Pineapple of the Dancing Ninja.
or, The Author's Mind Is Blank.
That's right, it's poetry time again! This week we will learn how to live for a month on a single slice of yogurt and three pints of chopped herring, in a little poem entitled Procrastination.
Ahem!
Procrastination.[1]
Frogs![2]
Purple and[3] three feet high,
They're not[4] really
All that different
From those[5] tiny black thingies
You know the ones--
With the wings and
The feelers
Of DOOM!
DOOM!
DOOM!
DOOM![6]
And those really small goggles--
What are they called again?[7]
Oh yes: lawn mowers.[8]
And even though it's summer[9]
In[10]
That shop around[11] the corner[12],
There's no reason to go
On a mad rampage[13] with
A cocktail stick and
Moth balls[14]
Unless the Voices
Ask you really nicely. :+)[16]
Bonus stanza! (Because I haven't quite killed enough time yet.)[17]
Few things are more fun than
Watching white walls wobbling in the sun,
Like big white wobbly things that are, you know,
Wobbling.
So open the doors and let in
The tall dark mysterious stranger who has been
Standing there, shivering, for the last three hours.
It's hard work, stalking, and
You might not think so now,
But he is actually a nice guy
When you get to know him.
And as the clock strikes yesterday,
My wingèd myrmidons sing of
Something.
[No whypslovens were harmed in the making of this poem.]
--
[1] The annotated version.
[2] This should not be taken literally.
[3] Twice.
[4] Last Wednesday, and then again two sizes smaller.
[5] This should be taken literally.
[6] Sorry, enter key got stuck.
[7] Obviously a rhetorical question. Or is it?
[8] A subtle metaphor demonstrating the futility of our existence, while simultaneously hinting at the deep-seated fear in each of us of being eaten by a rabid moose while jogging down the beach.
[9] This line was later changed to something completely different. But I won't tell you what.
[10] Obviously not a rhetorical question.
[11] Read: under.
[12] Read: sea.
[13] Again, not to be taken literally. There's always a reason to go on a mad rampage.
[14] You can substitute hand grenades if none are at hand[15], but then you will need twice as much sugar.
[15] Hoho!
[16] Sp00n.
[17] There were 122 insightful, informative and inspiring (as well as several other words beginning with "in") footnotes for this section, but they were lost in a freak accident involving a hovercraft and two Swedish men called Björn.
That's right, it's poetry time again! This week we will learn how to live for a month on a single slice of yogurt and three pints of chopped herring, in a little poem entitled Procrastination.
Ahem!
Procrastination.[1]
Frogs![2]
Purple and[3] three feet high,
They're not[4] really
All that different
From those[5] tiny black thingies
You know the ones--
With the wings and
The feelers
Of DOOM!
DOOM!
DOOM!
DOOM![6]
And those really small goggles--
What are they called again?[7]
Oh yes: lawn mowers.[8]
And even though it's summer[9]
In[10]
That shop around[11] the corner[12],
There's no reason to go
On a mad rampage[13] with
A cocktail stick and
Moth balls[14]
Unless the Voices
Ask you really nicely. :+)[16]
Bonus stanza! (Because I haven't quite killed enough time yet.)[17]
Few things are more fun than
Watching white walls wobbling in the sun,
Like big white wobbly things that are, you know,
Wobbling.
So open the doors and let in
The tall dark mysterious stranger who has been
Standing there, shivering, for the last three hours.
It's hard work, stalking, and
You might not think so now,
But he is actually a nice guy
When you get to know him.
And as the clock strikes yesterday,
My wingèd myrmidons sing of
Something.
[No whypslovens were harmed in the making of this poem.]
--
[1] The annotated version.
[2] This should not be taken literally.
[3] Twice.
[4] Last Wednesday, and then again two sizes smaller.
[5] This should be taken literally.
[6] Sorry, enter key got stuck.
[7] Obviously a rhetorical question. Or is it?
[8] A subtle metaphor demonstrating the futility of our existence, while simultaneously hinting at the deep-seated fear in each of us of being eaten by a rabid moose while jogging down the beach.
[9] This line was later changed to something completely different. But I won't tell you what.
[10] Obviously not a rhetorical question.
[11] Read: under.
[12] Read: sea.
[13] Again, not to be taken literally. There's always a reason to go on a mad rampage.
[14] You can substitute hand grenades if none are at hand[15], but then you will need twice as much sugar.
[15] Hoho!
[16] Sp00n.
[17] There were 122 insightful, informative and inspiring (as well as several other words beginning with "in") footnotes for this section, but they were lost in a freak accident involving a hovercraft and two Swedish men called Björn.
posted by Satu at 1:17 pm
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